The Seriousness of Sharing...

Where do I begin?? Alas, I have only been inhabiting South Korea for mere months, and yet my experiences here are already begining to perplex even my own imagination...

(Disclaimer: I am not attempting to challenge past, present or future experiences/perceptions, nor assert my experiences/perceptions as absolute. I am merely speaking from my perspective.)

Now, for the good stuff!

This country is a communal culture in every.sense.of.the.word. No joke. Prior to my arrival, I knew that they liked to share everything--namely names (try differentiating between 5 female students who all have the same two first names and family name), food, germs (anyone remember that little outbreak called Avian influenza?), stress, studying propensity (more on that later) and the like. What I wasn't prepared for is the exact extent of sharing that takes place. You see, sitting on a heated floor with your legs crossed while daintinly balancing chopsticks between cute, tiny bowls of boiled white (ALWAYS white!) rice, kimchi (pickled cabbage--actually not bad!), and a colorful assortment of fish parts is only part of the story. So imagine my surprise (and utter disgust) to learn that it is also customary to share... the soup! (Gasp!) Nevermind the fact that I had never had seaweed soup in the first place, but never in my wildest dreams did I think that my first experience with such a food would, indeed, be a shared experience. For those who think that I might be be being culturally insensitive or closed-minded, riddle me this: how can my tastebuds and I truly know the flavor of a new soup when it has been tainted by so many...um...free agents?!? Ha! Think about it: when I slurp up my share of seaweed soup, am I tasting the sea from whence the seaweed came, the poor fish who died so that his head might flavor the broth of said soup, or the remnants of Mr. Kim's mid-afternoon coffee and cigarette?? (Not to mention that Mrs. Park has kimchi bits stuck in and lipstick smudges stuck on her teeth! I won't dare investigate further..shutter) My point exactly. So from now on, I shall employ the following strategy: either be the first to sip or suddenly be "too hungry to waste my appetite on soup."

Let's delve a little further into the sharing bit, shall we? As a foreigner, it's no surprise that, on the whole, people are obsessed, or at very least curious about you (loads more on this later!) This means that as a way of "welcoming" you, students (and sometimes perfect strangers) will approach you with a warm smile and a handful of equally warm, often times unwrapped, candy. (No, I'm not referring to three-year-olds or seasoned citizens, either. I'm talking teenagers and middle-aged adults.) Therein lies the dilemma: While I think that a place where it's relatively safe to accept candy from strangers (and the fact that strangers want to actually give me candy??) is absolutely amazing, and I would also love to try out the Korean version of Skittles, I'm not always so sure that my immune system will be up for the challenge! The same goes with actual food. On any given day a fellow teacher, student or staff member will shove chopsticks holding some sort of food toward my mouth, fully expecting for me to remove said food using my mouth. (Sometimes they'll just use their hands, and attempt to "feed" me the good, old-fashioned way, and think nothing of it.) All of this wouldn't be a problem, of course, if I had not observed the minor fact that many Koreans are not really, um...into washing their hands thoroughly. From my observation at various places, such as schools, private homes, and public places, soap is treated as an add-on (regardless of actual affordability), and usually a quick spray of good 'ole agua and a quick shake will do the trick! Just a minor thing to consider when I'm debating the outcome of either losing "face" (and thus, hurting feelings) by politely refusing to be fed, oorrrrr saving "face," sparing feelings, and risking potentially getting sick. Decisions, decisions...

If this is something that you still can't manage to wrap your head around, consider this final point. Koreans like  LOVE to drink. (Just yesterday I received an event-related flyer that said, in English, "You think you drink like fish? Koreans drink like whale!" Priceless comedy here!) As such, it's totally okay for everyone (strangers, of course) to drink before, during, and after everyone else. "Cheers!" While attending a school dinner, a few teachers decided that they wanted to do a toast with me. (They really like to repeatedly toast to things while drinking!) I declined, stating that there were no more available (Read: clean) cups from which to drink. The male staff member then said "here!" and grabbed a few half-full cups that had been sitting on the table (and I'm sure were still being used by other people), dumped the contents of two of the cups, refilled them with liquor and then distributed them to myself and another teacher. Since he liked the contents of the third cup, he didn't dump it, but instead chose to drink it as is. Here's to hoping that the original owners of these cups are not ill!!!



A Korean teacher once told me that the possessive adjective "my" is not used with the nouns "house" and "wife." Instead, Koreans say, "our house" and "our wife." I'm guessing that it would be proper to say "our germs," too...

Communal, indeed.

(Update: While eating at a Korean restaurant in a small town, the owner (an older lady) kept referring to me as "our pretty," which would make me communal, too. I just keeps getting better!)