A Tale of Two Obsessions...

Given that Korea is easily one of the least culturally diverse countries in the world (they boast about the fact that they're "one race"), I was slightly unnerved at how I would be received as a woman of color. After asking a few people and doing some research, I got somewhat conflicting information about: (A) How Koreans feel about people of color; (B) How Koreans who inhabit smaller cities (such as where I would be residing) view people of color, and (C) How I would be treated as a result. After actually arriving however...Well, let's just say that my experience has been quite the surprise.

When I originally arrived (on a weekend), I wandered the streets without incident. I experienced no overt (and I would even argue covert, as Koreans generally aren't interested in hiding their true feelings about a person) disgust with my presence, and it was almost as though I was so different that no one cared. (Aside from the occasional kids and old ladies who wanted to say "hello" and have their pictures taken with me, mind you.) Of course I was elated, and I quickily relayed this information to my friends back home, and entered my new workplace with all the positivity of a newly-born unicorn. That's when things started to get interesting.

You see, while random passers-by on the crowded streets pretended to be impervious to my presence (yep, I soon figured that out), the entire staff was instantly in complete awe at my existence. While initially overwhelming for me, I treated it as a minor thing, as I had been told that being a foreigner in South Korea meant ample attention (shutters). So what every single teacher (despite their actual ability to speak English, in which case, they suddenly started learning English!) wanted to have lunch with me and take me out to dinner? I should just be happy that they're so welcoming! Well, given their competitive nature, and the very blatant fact that I am, still, only one person, certain characters who felt that since they were at the top of the food chain began to feel as though I should only be spending my time with them, and thus, limiting my time with the other staff members who wanted to get to know me. Enter "Mrs. C." and "Mr. S."...

"Mrs. C" (completely made-up name, of course), you see, is my main co-teacher. She's about 50 years old, and from what I could tell initially, she was one of the sweetest ladies that I had ever encountered. She went above and beyond the parameters of her position to accomodate me, and for this I am eternally (well, maybe not eternally) very grateful. So life was all sunshine and smiles until she noticed that other teachers had also taken an interest in getting to know me. Once she saw that I had began to form close relationships with other teachers (and thus couldn't dedicate all of my spare time (this includes weekends) to being with her, she declared an all-out war against all parties involved. Literally overnight, I had gone from being an excellent teacher to a horrible one. If the offending teacher was one of her subordinates (hierarchy reigns here), then they were subjected to constant criticism and general negativity. My conversations with said teachers were rudely interrupted by her. Teachers who did not speak English well (or really, at all) were told, "you don't speak English" in an attempt to humiliate and deter them from communicating with me. After mentioning to ALL of my co-teachers the fact that our computer had been broken for weeks, one person finally had it repaired. Upon discovering this, she said,"but that's MY job. I will have it repaired again." One day I came to work, and she presented me with a pair of earrings that she had purchased for herself four years prior while visiting Australia. When I assured her that she didn't need to keep giving me things, especially not her prized Australian accessory, she replied in a dreamy tone, "But I knew from the moment that I saw you that I wanted to give these earrings to you. You're perfect..." Yiiiiiiiikkkkeeees, lady. She then launched into a soliloquy about how she was unable to bear children (definitely difficult to swallow in Korean culture), and how she and her husband kept trying and trying and trying--LADY! Spare me the visuals, please! And how she thinks (so of course, ALL Korean women must all also think the same thing) that adopting children is bad luck, because a monk told her so. She then said that there are strange people in every culture (referencing herself, of course), and alluded to the fact that since she couldn't conceive children of her own, she thinks that I was sent here to be her "child." Once, when I was caught laughing and chatting excessively with a fellow co-teacher, she waited until later that night and called me to say that she felt left out (uuummm perhaps that's because the conversation didn't involve you!) and that I had to "choose between the two of them." (That teacher and I have now decided to hide our friendship and plan secret meetings. Sigh.) The stories about this lady abound, but for the sake of my sanity, let's move on to "Mr. S.," shall we?

"Mr. S" is also a staff member. What exactly it is that he does remains a mystery to me, largely due to the fact that: A) professional titles are very inflated here, and B) everyone has multiple titles. (So that means that everyone is the "head of" something, and the school accountant will also be in charge of sweeping the gym, preparing the meals, and tuning the musical instruments, among other things.) All I know is that he deals directly with the students (Head of Students, perhaps?). Well he and Mrs. C are alike in that both have taken an extreme liking to me. His portfolio: complimenting me daily, even if there's nothing to compliment ("You, woooow." English ability next to none, by the way.); making his presence known (Read: leaving his desk and walking all the way to the other side of our very large shared work room) whenever another male staff member attempts to converse with me; telling me (in Korean and around other teachers, mind you) that we should go drink Korean rice wine together on a rainy day (Never mind the fact that we can't communicate!); getting inebriated at a school dinner (soooo much more on this in a later post! But drinking is synonymous with work here.) and proclaiming to be "single" and "a playboy" (the former is not true, don't know about the latter); knowing that I was sick even before I knew it myself after having studied me (umm, clearly!) intensely during the first 3 months that I had lived here (CrEeEePy!!!); singing a ballad (in front of Mrs. C. and one of his bosses--male, no doubt) in Korean about how beautiful/pretty/cute I am, while I died of embarassment and they laughed and smiled with admiration; realizing that I had been avoiding him, and subsequently conspiring with Mrs. C. to treat me to lunch, despite the fact that I had declined the offer. (When we got to the restaurant, the entire.conversation.consisted.of.the.two.of.them.complimenting.me, in two languages! BoRiNg. At some point they even asked what type of man I liked, with Mrs. C. even gesturing toward Mr. S. and saying, "he's very handsome, right?")

Despite not being at the top of the food chain, this guy gets away with murder, and his antics are usually praised! Why??? My guess is that because in this EXTREMELY image-conscious and male-dominated culture, he's considered an idol. Tall, attractive, and charismatic, and male. So with all these things, he's free to be "worried about me even though he's married," as one of my co-teachers (who's an older lady!?) giggled and told me one day. Why even translate that??