What's warm and wet and slimy all over?

It all started in a bar in an undisclosed beach town...

(Or maybe it started a few days before that, when my attempts to quell Mrs. C's infatuation finally came to a head, leading to an all-out disagreement in a culture where both disagreement and confrontation are shunned. I stopped short of saying, "You do not get to be obsesssed with me!", instead vying for the more diplomatically fool-proof "cultural differences" line. She didn't like that one bit, as openly acknowledging the fact that we are from different cultures calls attention to the fact that we are, indeed, different people, and that I was NOT, in fact, birthed from her body.)

Either way, I ended up in a city with a beach and far enough away from her smothering obsession. Despite being exhausted, I'm dancing the night away and having fun with my Korean female friend and her friend, who has just returned  home to Korea after having lived in the States for something like 7 or 8 or 10 years. So time passes and it's some insanely late hour and I feel myself growing increasingly fatigued. I decide to sit down in the very crowded, chaotic bar in hopes getting my energy back and after a few minutes of resting. Although my intentions for this were far from literal, at some point I began to doze off. (Not in full, REM sleep, but merely a quick, recharging "nappette" if you will.) As I'm enjoying my "nappette," (all two minutes of it), I begin to become conscious of a strange sensation on the right side of my face, precisely in the region of my cheek and the corner of my mouth: warm, slow, and decidedly slimy. Realizing that it wasn't going away, and that it was in fact, migrating steadily closer to my lips, I open up my eyes to find a small, spectacle-wearing Korean man-boy licking the side of my face with the passion and intensity of romance novel, eyes closed, probably oblivious to the fact that my eyes were now open. Frozen speechless, confused, and still drowsy from having been asleep just 10 seconds ago, I go against my character 1000% and do....absolutely nothing. As luck would have it, my Korean friend had been keeping an eye out, and, upon seeing this, she immediately ran over and in one fluid motion, yelled at the offender (using Korean swear words, I'm sure, as she loves English ones!), pushed him away from me, and grabbed me up. He disappears at once, never to be seen (Ha! I couldn't pick the guy out of a line-up even if I tried!) or, umm...felt from again. (In such a polite culture, you would think that the guy would have at least left a tip?? Oh, wait, they don't tip here. Nevermind.)  As for me, I'm now fully awake. "Dance floor!" I proclaim.



Something about having foreign saliva methodically slathered on your face being rather rejuvenating....Who knew?!